The sun was shining brightly
Upon the fields below:
He did his very best to make
The corn and fruit to grow;
And that was wrong because it brings
The prices down, you know.
The corn was ripening in the fields,
The fruit upon the tree;
The shops were full, and laden ships
Were sailing on the sea:
All things had a fictitious look
Of fair prosperity;
And that was wrong because the world
Was ruined utterly.
The Banker and the Economist
Were walking hand in hand.
They wept like anything to see
Such plenty in the land.
If this were only stopped they said,
The prospect would be grand!
If seven pests or seven plagues
Were loosened every year,
I think said the Economist
That things would then be dear.
I wonder said the Banker
And wiped away a tear.
Consumer come and talk with us
They both did make request.
The time has come to tell you what
For you we think is best.
O thank you the consumer said
With lively interest.
And first said the Economist
Its needful to explain
The economic laws which prove
That trade must wax and wane,
And why abundance is a curse,
And scarcity a gain.
But not to me the man replied,
Turning a little white
Such dismal scientific stuff
Would stupefy me quite.
Ill take it all on trust because
I know you must be right.
Two winking eyes behind the back
Of that Consumer met,
As if to say: This blessed boob
Has asked for what hell get.
Old chap said the Economist,
Your trust you wont regret.
This gross abundance that you see
Before your hungry eyes
Has ruined all the primary
And so, to set things right again,
We must economise.
And first well make a cut in costs
By cutting down your screw,
And next well cut production down
Till prices rise anew.
Then, though youll have less goods to buy,
More work youll have to do.
Right oh! the good consumer said
(A sturdy Briton he),
And, smiling bravely, yielded up
His share of L.S.D.
By such contraction wages show
It seems a shame the Banker said
To play him such a prank.
With sobs and tears he cancelled out
A credit at the bank:
And that was right, unless you are
A monetary crank.
Consumer said that pleasant pair,
Weve had a useful day.
Shall we be trotting home again?
But nothing did he say:
And that was right enough because
Hed faded quite away.
Asses in Clover, Eimar ODuffy (pages 260-262). Famous
economist Professor Swallowdown is jinxed into demonstrating
the stupidity of rational economic man automatically obeying
economic laws invented by his own stupidity.